Mill Valley copywriter Sue Glader was 33 years old with a one-year-old child when she got the diagnosis that puts fear in all hearts: breast cancer. As she was going through treatment, she looked around and found that most children's books addressing the topic of a parent with cancer were dreary and uninspiring.
For a young child, having a parent with cancer can be frightening and confusing. The child may wonder if they somehow did something wrong, or if Mommy is mad at them, or whether they can catch the disease.
Author Sue Glader relaxes in the children's room at the Mill Valley Public Library.
To that end, during the first year after treatment, Sue wrote a poem intended for children. There was the gleam of a possible book some day - but she chose to spend her newly-precious time with her family, rather than negotiating the complex and time-consuming world of book publishing. "I wanted to be a mother, instead of worrying about writing a book," Sue says.
Fast forward about ten years. Sue's health was good (thankfully) and her son was almost a teenager. She felt compelled to pick up the thread: she wanted to offer inspiration for the mother as well as the child, "something that said to the mother, by way of lovely, fun illustrations, that she is still beautiful and stylish and loving and silly... and also said to the kids that this treatment will perhaps look a bit like this, and dispel some of their worries."
Sue discovered an illustrator in the Netherlands, and Nowhere Hair, a children's book that explains a loved one's cancer to children ages 3 - 10, was published in the fall of 2010. Nowhere Hair has since been an inspiration to parents and other caregivers - doctors, nurses, therapists - around the world, and Sue has been active in spreading her message to all types of audiences.
I asked Sue the 'wrong' way to talk to kids about cancer. "Some people believe that it's best to not involve the kids, as a way to protect them," she said. "But I believe unequivocally that's not the right way. Kids deserve to be part of our life experience. For one thing, when they do figure it out - and they always do, you know we can't keep secrets from children - they often will think the worst. Or they'll listen to their friends who are equally uninformed." Scary thought. "And what a beautiful thing it is to show children that there are hard things that happen, and when you face them together as a family, everyone comes out stronger."
What's next? "I'm working on a Spanish version of Nowhere Hair," says Sue. She's interested in translating beyond the words: Sue will be working with her illustrator to adjust the images to reflect Latin culture.
In her presentations, Sue talks about 'squeezing life.' I asked her what that meant, exactly. "Say 'yes' to things that you might otherwise not agree to. Don't squander life. Grab it with both hands and take it on!"
Wise words, indeed.
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Buy the book online at the Nowhere Hair website, or also at the Depot Bookstore and All Wrapped Up in Mill Valley.
Spotted: Mill Valley Public Library
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